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Title: Let It Go We Must
Author: Lara Lee ([livejournal.com profile] take_this_waltz)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sequel to 'The Sense of Failure'. Viggo and Orlando meet in L.A.
Warning: none (it gets a bit angsty at the end but there might to be a sequel...)
Disclaimer: I don't know those people in real life - thus, I can't be making any statement about their sexuality/personal lives whatsoever. This story is complete fiction.
Archive: Glittering Deceptions, of course. LBES would be great. My journal. All others please ask
A/N: Thanks to my wonderful betas [livejournal.com profile] legomyarrow and [livejournal.com profile] melacita. You rock!




Let It Go We Must


The flight to L.A. had been long, and Orlando had barely been able to sleep. Usually, he slept well on planes but he'd been too overtired to sleep this time. A driver had been waiting for him at the airport. He had taken him to some hotel or another, and Robin had been on the phone as soon as he'd entered his room and dropped his bag next to the bed, telling him to relax a bit, to shower and dress up, and that she'd be there to pick him up in two hours. She'd hung up before Orlando could ask her what for. He was sure the press conference was scheduled to take place the next day. Sighing, he rummaged through his bag for his calendar. Under the date of June 20th, he found an entry 'Flaunt'. He smacked his forehead and silently thanked Robin for ending the phone call just in time - she would have been furious with him for having forgotten about the party.

Orlando lay back on the bed and felt fatigue spread through his body. His arm was heavy as he lifted it to cover his eyes, and his shirt smelled like stale plane air. He rubbed his eyes and sat up again. There was no use in falling asleep now. He'd be too tired to leave if he allowed himself to drift off. He reached for his mobile, yawning.

"Hi, Viggo, it's me. I don't know if you're back already... I'm in L.A. I just arrived. There's this party tonight and the press conference tomorrow but after that I have a couple of days, so... Call me, okay? Bye."

They hadn't talked much during the past weeks since both men had been either working or traveling almost night and day. There had been a couple of short calls, though-- reaffirmations of their plans for L.A. and quick updates on what was going on in their lives. But nothing more. Orlando still wasn't sure what to make of all that. The thought of Viggo made his cock stir and his breath quicken but it also made his stomach lurch and his head hurt. He didn't know what to make of that night and that phone call, and he wasn't sure what he expected (hoped, feared) their next encounter to lead to. Part of him longed for Viggo's touch and caress, and part of him feared Viggo's face and word. In his dreams, he felt warm hands and cold gazes.

He pushed himself up from the bed and decided to swim some lanes in the hotel's pool before getting dressed for the evening. That would solve the tension in his back and in his mind.

*****

The party wasn't bad. The music was good and the guests were beautiful. Talk was easy and superficial, food was opulent and the drinks were well tempered. After a few of them Orlando began to feel comfortable. He chatted and laughed and listened to gossip and sweet words until well past midnight. Only after a couple of hours did he begin to feel tired again. He said goodbye to the people at his table and turned down several offers to go clubbing once the party had ended. Robin had already left, and he didn't feel like calling the hotel's driver. Instead, he decided to walk a few steps and then take a cab.

He ran his hands through his hair as he exited the building. It was warm. Of course it was warm. He was California. Orlando shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and looked left and right. The city was much quieter now than it had been earlier when he arrived. He took wide, slow steps, he wasn't in a hurry.

He'd only walked a few meters along the street when suddenly a shape disengaged itself from the shadows in front of him. Orlando stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hello, elf boy!"

"Viggo...!" Orlando gasped. "Man, you scared me!"

Both men broke into a broad smile. "What are you doing here?" Orlando asked.

"Well, I got your message and here I am." Viggo's face was half hidden in the darkness but Orlando could see the sparkle in the other man's eyes. Viggo was wearing jeans and a red sweater and some very old, very worn brown shoes. He took a step towards Orlando.

"But why are you here? How...?" A frown crept onto Orlando's face. "I didn't-"

"Know the city, elf boy. Know the business. You mentioned a party, I did some research - and here I am."

"And here you are..." Orlando shook his head and lowered his eyes. He heard Viggo take another step and felt the other man's hands on his upper arms. The hands began to stroke his arms, steady movements up and down, crinkling his jacket, causing friction of cloth against skin, raising goose bumps, slowing down. "And here I am," Viggo said, and Orlando closed his eyes. Viggo's scent and the heat radiating from his body engulfed Orlando like a memory he'd missed all his life. "You're warm," Orlando whispered. "You smell good." A second later he found himself in Viggo's embrace, his face against Viggo's neck, against Viggo's skin, and Viggo's hands on his back. "You're warm," Orlando breathed against the fluttering of Viggo's pulse.

They stood like that for a while, arms wrapped around each other, bodies touching. Viggo nuzzled Orlando's hair. "You've been swimming..." Orlando looked up and their eyes met. And then their mouths met, too, and Orlando felt as if he was drowning. Warm and soft, and then Viggo's tongue was running along his lips. Viggo's fingers running along his jaw line, Viggo's hand cupping his face. Orlando opened his mouth and moaned as Viggo's tongue touched his. They broke apart after some seconds, panting.

"My car's around the corner," Viggo rasped. He let go of Orlando and took his hand.

Orlando nodded. "Yeah, shit, sorry, Vig... We should get off this street..." He was feeling dizzy and disoriented but footsteps were approaching them, and maybe it wasn't an altogether good idea to be seen like that. Viggo tugged at his hand and they started to walk - slowly at first but after a few steps Viggo set a quicker pace.

"It's just around the next corner, I only just arrived." He led Orlando around a corner into a smaller street, a barely lit alley with cars parked along the sidewalks. "It's right over there..." Viggo stopped and turned around to face Orlando. He pulled him into a tight embrace and muttered into his hair: "It's so good to see you." Their mouths met in another kiss, and Viggo pushed Orlando backwards until he was leaning against the wall of the nearest building. His hands caressed Orlando's shoulders and his neck, entwined with his hair, stroked his cheeks. Never breaking the kiss, he nudged Orlando's legs apart with his knee, bringing their groins together, making Orlando hiss and himself too.

Both men moaned as Orlando's hands went to the small of Viggo's back and quickly made their way underneath Viggo's sweater. Viggo began to tug at Orlando's shirt, needing to feel the other man's skin against his palms. Orlando broke the kiss, closed his eyes and tossed his head backwards as he felt Viggo's fingers fumbling with the buttons of his trousers. Viggo's hands were shaking but he managed to undo button after button as he let his mouth wander down Orlando's throat, let his tongue create wet traces, let the pulsing in his lips meet with the faint remains of Orlando's cologne. Reaching inside Orlando's trousers proved to be a difficult task, especially since Orlando had begun unbuttoning Viggo's jeans as well and both men were pressing their groins against each others' in a needy attempt to get closer, closer, closer. But eventually Viggo's hand met soft skin and hard, throbbing heat.

"Oh god, Vig... Viggo... more," Orlando whispered, eyes still closed. "Touch me... yeah, like that..." Finally he had opened enough buttons to reach into Viggo's trousers and close his hand around the other man's erection. He felt Viggo tense and then relax. He felt fingertips on his lips, on his cheeks, gliding down his throat, a hand cupping his head, guiding him, then again, lips on his lips.

"Just like this," Viggo murmured. "Want to... you..."

Orlando withdrew his hand from the warmth of Viggo's underwear and rested it on Viggo's hand, still stroking him. "Just let me..." Orlando's voice sounded hoarse and raw against his lips in the darkness of the alley. And before Viggo could ask why and what, Orlando was moving in his embrace, twisting, turning around until he was facing the wall. He rested his hands against the concrete and thrust his hips against Viggo's crotch. His loosened trousers slid downwards an inch or two, exposing the crescent of his buttocks and a hint of the crack between them.

"Oh..." Viggo went still for a second. He then reached out and traced the faint shadowy line with the tips of his middle and index finger. "You have... no idea..." he pressed through gritted teeth. Orlando's sharp intake of breath and another thrust of his hips against Viggo caused two things to happen almost instantly. Viggo's right hand went around Orlando's body taking hold of Orlando's erection once more, and his left hand, his left hand found its way into Orlando's trousers on his backside. He rocked his hips against the other man's body, moaning at the friction his movements caused on his own arousal. "No idea..."

"God, Viggo!" Orlando braced himself against the wall and thrust his hips back and forth - into Viggo's hand and against Viggo's body. "Just like that..." He felt intoxicated. There were no thoughts of the surrounding, no sensations of the night's chill, there was just his body and the other, just he and Viggo and the urge to touch, to be touched. He felt his trousers slide lower, exposing more of his skin, and his one hand let go of the wall and reached for Viggo over his shoulder. Fingers left his crack and entwined with his. Viggo's breathing was hot and wet against his neck, Viggo's voice sending shivers through his body.

"Orlando... want... you... closer... more..." Orlando could feel the tip of Viggo's cock against his skin, Viggo's body pressed against his. There was moisture and heat and throbbing against the small of his back, against the beginning of the shadow. There was movement, sliding up and down, increasing in pace, in urgency, in need.

"Do you... Please tell me you have..." Viggo was hardly able to think straight. He was almost too far gone to care, all he wanted was more, was to get closer, to lose himself in the tight heat of Orlando's body.

Orlando moaned and shook his head. "No," he panted. "Not... with me."

Both men stilled their movements. Viggo squeezed his eyes shut and pushed himself away from Orlando. He leaned against the wall next to the other man, still panting. His fingers raked through his hair as he tried to catch his breath.

Orlando hung his head and moaned in frustration. Then he turned around again and pulled his trousers up. With trembling fingers he started to button his trousers and glanced at the man next to him. Viggo had his eyes closed and his hands still in his hair. His jeans were still open and his cock stood erect and glistening with moisture. "Shit," he gasped. "Wish we could just...."

Orlando's eyes went wide and he reached out to touch Viggo's arm. The contact caused Viggo's eyes to open. He quickly buttoned his jeans and started to walk towards his car.

"Home," Viggo said over his shoulder, and Orlando followed two steps behind.

Once they were inside the car, Viggo sighed and started the ignition. He didn't look at Orlando when he said: "I won't be able to take this slow."

Orlando nodded. "I don't want you to." He reached for Viggo's thigh when Viggo pulled out of the alley onto the main street but Viggo swatted his hand away.

"Don't." Viggo's hand shook as he raked through his hair again. "Christ, I almost..." Another sigh came from his lips. "Oh god, Orlando. You have no idea."

They remained silent for the rest of the drive, Orlando fidgeting in his seat and Viggo stealing glances at the younger man sitting next to him. They didn't speak either when Viggo stopped in front of a drugstore. He got out of the car and returned a short moment later, carrying a small brown paper bag. It was only a 15 minute drive from the store but it seemed to last for hours. Both men were achingly hard, even though the frenzy of their arousal had subsided a little. When they arrived at Viggo's house and the car had stopped, Viggo leaned over and pulled Orlando into a searing kiss. "I want you," he rasped.

"Want you," Orlando echoed, and the kiss ended. They got out of the car quickly and walked to the house side by side, and just when they'd reached the door, Orlando placed his hand on the small of Viggo's back. "Can't wait," he breathed. Viggo leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. He inhaled sharply and let the air slowly stream from his lungs again.

"Orlando. Let go of me now or I won't be able to unlock this door." His voice sounded strained, only barely retaining composure. Reluctantly, Orlando took a step backwards. Seeing the other man so close to losing control turned him on more than anything else and made his heart ache at the same time.

"Can't help it, Vig," he whispered. "Want you so much..."

Viggo straightened his back and reached into his pocket, searching for the keys. His jeans were tight in his crotch, and the fumbling of his fingers rubbed it against his arousal, making him moan. When he finally held the keys in his hand and tried to open the door, his hand shook. On the third try the door opened and Viggo quickly stepped into the dark hallway, Orlando following right behind. Once Orlando had closed the door, Viggo dropped the keys, tossed the paper bag on the chest of drawers where the phone stood and pinned the other man against the door with the weight of his body. His hands cupped Orlando's jaws, tilting Orlando's head just in the right angle, bringing their mouths together. The younger man's lips yielded to Viggo's rough caresses, opened for him, invited him in. Their tongues met and Viggo's forced its way into the hot wetness of Orlando's mouth, claiming it as its own. His hands unbuttoned Orlando's trousers quickly before they set to work on how own jeans.

"Turn around," he whispered into Orlando's mouth and maneuvered the younger man away from the door, turning him around until he was facing the chest of drawers.

Orlando let himself be positioned by Viggo willingly. His hands reached for the piece of furniture in front of him and he leaned forward as Viggo tugged as his trousers and pulled them downwards over his hips. A soft rustling sound told him that Viggo was pulling down his jeans as well, and he gasped as a finger parted his buttocks and brushed over his opening.

"God, Viggo... I'm so hard..." Viggo reached around Orlando and opened the paper bag with one hand. He turned it upside down so that condoms and lube fell between Orlando's hands. He grabbed the tube of lube and withdrew his fingers from Orlando's cleft, making Orlando moan in frustration. Panting and pressing his hips against Orlando's backside, he squeezed some of the clear gel onto his fingers and brought them to Orlando's entrance again.

"Can't wait..." Viggo murmured, biting his lips frantically. Everything seemed to happen so fast, yet not fast enough. He hissed as he inserted the first finger, the ring of muscle closing tightly around it. Quickly he added a second finger, preparing Orlando roughly.

"Hurry," Orlando moaned and Viggo knew he wouldn't be able to wait any longer. A second time he reached around Orlando and fumbled one of the condoms from the package. His breath down Orlando's neck made the younger man moan with need. "Hurry..."

Viggo briefly thought of kissing Orlando, of licking that neck, that throat, that pulse, of nibbling that ear, but he couldn't focus on doing that. He tore the foil wrapping open with flying fingers and rolled it over his pulsing shaft. His breathing came in short gasps and he stopped breathing altogether when he slid his lubricant-covered hand along his erection. His own hand on his aching flesh felt good, so good, far too good, and he couldn't resist stroking himself once, twice and a third time, before he resumed his panting and before his fingers parted Orlando's buttocks once more. Viggo could see the grip of Orlando's hands tightening around the edge of the chest when he breached the younger man's body and buried himself in Orlando with one languid thrust of his hips. Tight heat engulfed him and took his breath away. Both men cried out once Viggo was fully sheathed. Orlando's hips pushed backwards, drawing him even deeper into that tight heat. Supressing a groan, Viggo leaned forward, feeling Orlando's body trembling around him and against his skin, placing his hands over Orlando's, his mouth close to Orlando's ear. "I want to come," Viggo moaned. Orlando nodded, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Yeah... Viggo... Yeah..." His voice was raw with need heavy with arousal. "God, yes!"

Viggo reached for Orlando's hips and withdrew almost completely before he thrust back in. His right hand closed around Orlando's cock and he withdrew again. And thrust back in. "God, you're so tight..." He started to stroke Orlando's erection with erratic movements, movements that matched his thrusting. Out and in. Out and in. And in. In. In. "Orlando..." Viggo knew that the next thrust would send him over the edge. He felt Orlando's body tense along with his, and warm, sticky wetness covered his hand, and the tight heat clenched around him, making his body convulse and his mind go blank. He came with a throaty groan. He came hard and fast, harder than he ever had. He came while his groan turned into a sharp cry and then into a low, breathless moan. His hips jerked erratically, and he thrust against Orlando again and again, coming, spasming, releasing, spurting, moaning, moaning Orlando's name and "Oh god... Ahhhh... oh... god... fuck... gahh... can't... 'rlando... ahhhh... god more... not... oh fuck... gonna... feel... over... oh god no... can't... I can't..." until the waves finally slowly subsided.

He was shaking when he pulled out of Orlando's body and he was shaking when he disposed of the condom. He was still shaking when they kicked off their shoes and socks and got rid of their trousers. He still shook when Orlando gathered him in his arms and they sank to the floor, when Orlando continued to caress his face and his hair, coaxing him to relax, to relax, to let go, to rest... to open his eyes, to look at him, to say something.

Neither remembered how much time had passed when Viggo finally found his breath and his voice again. "Wasn't..." he muttered, "wasn't quite expecting that." Orlando propped himself up on his elbow and smiled down on him, tilting his head ever so slightly. "Did I hurt you?" Viggo asked, eyes still closed.

Orlando shook his head. "No," he whispered. "No." Carefully he brushed a strand of hair from Viggo's face. Viggo's skin was still covered by a thin layer of sweat, which was slowly cooling and drying. "You're so beautiful," he mouthed against Viggo's cheekbone.

"Is it here where you were sitting while we were on the phone the other day?"

Viggo opened his eyes and saw Orlando looking at the spot next to the telephone. "Yeah," he answered. Then he cleared his throat. "My voice is all hoarse..." He brought his hand to his face and wiped his mouth. "Yeah, that's where I was sitting."

Still staring at that spot on the floor, Orlando swallowed, and his breath hitched a little. "It makes me hard to think about you sitting there." As if to prove his words he shifted his body, until his cock was pressing against Viggo's thigh and Viggo could feel how Orlando was hardening again. He started slowly rocking against Viggo's thigh, grinding his growing arousal against the other man's sticky skin. "Touching yourself, making yourself come..."

Viggo moaned and turned to his side, facing Orlando. "Oh god," he gasped as the contact with Orlando's skin made his own cock twitch and harden immediately.

"Making yourself come so hard..." Orlando whispered against his lips before they opened. Before Viggo nudged his legs apart with his knee and their legs entwined.

Their kisses were wet and open-mouthed, hungry and frantic. Gasps and moans and the sound of skin on sweaty skin filled the air. Their cocks had grown fully erect and were trapped between the two thrusting, grinding bodies. When Viggo shifted slightly, his arousal and Orlando's touched and rubbed against each other. The movements of their hips were out of their control. All there was left were bucking and pressing closer and friction and erratic thrusts and tongues and breath and groping, scratching hands.

"So hard," Orlando panted, "gonna come... so hard." And then he buried his face in the crook of Viggo's neck and surrendered to the sensation of Viggo's teeth breaking the skin on his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and began to moan continuously along with his thrusts against Viggo's groin. He could feel how his balls tightened and he knew he was lost. Suddenly, Viggo's movements ceased completely and he went rigid in Orlando's arms. Then, after a moment, his body arched against Orlando's and a throaty groan escaped his lips. His hips jerked once more, and Orlando felt how something hot and sticky spread between their bodies. He could feel Viggo's cock pulsing and releasing, and a second later he felt his own orgasm washing over him. His muscles tensed and relaxed and, accompanied by a silent cry, his semen spurted from his cock and mixed with Viggo's. Viggo's nails dug into the skin on his back while he kept moaning "Yeah, come... for me... good... let go... so good..."

It took them even longer to come down than after the first time. Only when the sticky fluid between their bodies began to itch did they let go of each other. For a while they lay next to each other on their backs, just breathing. Orlando's voice sounded small when he finally broke the silence.

"What is happening here?"

"I don't know," Viggo muttered, raking his fingers through his hair.

"What you said earlier," Orlando went on, "about getting tested. What does that-"

"Forget what I said," Viggo interrupted. "I can't offer you that."

Orlando turned his head to face the other man. "What? What do you-"

"I can't ask that of you. I can't offer you that. It would be... too much."

"Vig..."

"It just would be too much, Orlando. It wouldn't be right, I wouldn't be... I... It would be too much, and I wouldn't be able to commit like that. You wouldn't be. It's not the time. It's not our time."

Orlando sat up and looked down on Viggo lying next to him. Viggo still had his eyes closed and one of his hands was resting on his chest. Orlando rose to his feet and began to collect his scattered clothes.

"Orlando? What are you doing?" Viggo asked.

"I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to call a taxi and go back to my hotel, okay? Where's my shoe, for fuck's sake? I can't find my shoe."

"You can stay the night if you like," Viggo offered, pushing himself up from the floor.

Orlando stopped in his tracks and their eyes met. "No," he replied. "I think I'd better get back to my hotel. Call me a taxi while I'm in the bathroom?"

"I could drive you." Viggo paused. "Let me drive you."

"I... I'd rather take a taxi. Where's the shower?"

"Upstairs, second door to the left," Viggo said quietly.

The taxi was already waiting when Orlando emerged from the bathroom with damp hair and an air of soap and defeat around him. Viggo led him to the door. He reached for the handle to open the door for Orlando but then he hesitated. His hand remained resting on the handle and he gripped it tightly when he lowered his eyes and said: "Stay."

Orlando's shoulders slumped and he took a deep breath.

"Let me go, Viggo."

Viggo took a step backwards and let Orlando open the door. He watched the street for a long time after Orlando had left.


***maybe tbc in 'Fear The Past'***
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