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sal_si_puedesSeries: Sal Si Puedes (III 2/7)
Chapter title: Obsession
Author: Becca (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aqua_alta)
Rating: R (I think...)
Pairing: Severus/Remus
Disclaimers: see part III 1/7
Sal Si Puedes - Obession
"Avada Kedavra!"
Everything seemed to happen at once. A green ray of death shot from Severus' wand and hit Sirius square on the chest. The tall man seemed to fall for eternity, Severus watching him sinking to his knees and finally hitting the ground from the corner of his eyes...
the falling face twitching in surprise and pain
the falling face twitching and dissolving
the falling face assuming shape again, the shape of another face
the falling face assuming the features of...
Remus!
Severus sat up in his bed, choking and drenched in sweat. His ice cold hand wiped over his eyes and he tried to adjust to the darkness surrounding him. Adrenaline still rushed through his veins but its impact slowly ceased, leaving him in exhausted shivers.
"Enough!" He listened to the ebbing echoes until his bedroom was filled with nothing but silence and then said it again, as if to confirm a decision. "Enough!" He got up, threw his robe over his shoulders and left his quarters. It took him some minutes to make his way through the castle and reach the door to Dumbledore's chambers, but he was determined to put an end to this.
A sleepy and confused Dumbledore let him in, fumbling with the fastenings of his dressing gown as he walked over to the armchairs in front of the fireplace. Closing the door behind himself, Severus hissed: "What have you been doing to my dreams?"
"Your dreams, Severus?"
"Don't play the innocent man, Headmaster. You know what I'm talking about! You've been messing with my dreams! The last three nights they somehow *changed*. I told you I wouldn't go and see Lupin and you're obviously not able to accept it. You wouldn't risk using the Imperius Curse on me again so you found another way to achieve your goal, didn't you?!"
"I'm sorry, Severus, but I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about." He lit a fire and sat down in one of the chairs. "I promised not to interfere with your decisions years ago and I've kept that promise. I swear, I've done nothing to your dreams." He gestured for Severus to sit down in the other chair. "Why don't you sit down and tell me what's the matter?"
"You didn't? I have your word on it?"
"Of course. You might not believe it but I do respect you, Severus."
Severus froze. "But then... good gods... then..."
All Dumbledore saw and heard was quick movement and a door slamming shut.
*****
Contrary to what he had made Dumbledore believe, Severus had quite a good notion of where Remus might have retreated to. The next morning, after having spent the rest of the night sleepless, he opened a creaking garden porch.
Harry had moved into his parents' house after he graduated from Hogwarts. It had been an item of discussion among the members of the faculty, a discussion in which Severus had never taken part but one he had been well aware of. Hesitating slightly he knocked on the front door. Nothing happened. He knocked again. The door opened the moment he began to turn around in order to leave again.
A young woman with long brown hair appeared in front of him. He had never seen her before but he instantly sensed that she was a Muggle. Her dark eyes examined him thoroughly.
"Harry? He's here."
She opened the door and led him into the living room where Harry stood next to a little girl. Severus estimated her to be four or five years old. The woman walked over to the little girl, picked her up and disappeared through a door on the other side of the room.
"That was Ellen, my wife, and our daughter Emily. She'll be five next month." Harry lifted his head and his green eyes fixed on Severus'. "He doesn't want to see you."
"I know. But I have to see him." Severus' jaws clenched.
"He doesn't want to, Professor. He made me promise I won't tell you where he is."
"My name is Severus." Severus muttered. Harry looked baffled. "Harry, please... I have to see him."
"What happened between him and you, Pro... Severus? He wouldn't tell me a word, just made me promise to keep you away from him. You can't see him. I'm sorry. But he made that very clear." Harry shot a brief glance at the window. "Especially not today. It's going to be full moon tonight and-"
"Harry, please! In your father's name, in Sirius' name, let me see him..." Severus felt utterly exhausted.
"He's upstairs. Second door on the left."
"Severus, be careful, please, don't hurt him." Harry called after him as he ascended the stairs.
*****
"Get out!"
"Not before you've listened to me, Lupin."
"I said, get out! Now!"
Remus stood by the window, his back turned to Severus. He had lost a visible amount of weight in only three days. When he turned round, Severus could see deep shadows under his eyes, sunken, unshaven cheeks and dry lips. Remus looked awful.
"I won't." Severus had made up his speech during the sleepless hours of the past night. "Why didn't you tell me, Lupin? If I had known... Well, I didn't know. But there is a way out for you. I've been doing research in that matter and I've found a solution." He paused. Remus didn't move and continued to stare at him. "Your kind mates for life, I understand. So what has been established between us can come to an end. Through death. It works. It's in the books. Your death." Severus pulled his wand from his robe and let his fingers run along the yew wood. Then he closed his hand around it in a tight grip. "Or mine." And he tossed his wand at Remus who caught it automatically.
"Use my wand." His arms hung from his shoulders and he bowed his head. "Kill me."
*****
Remus walked over to the table in slow motion and lowered his body onto a chair. His hands played with Severus' wand. He closed his eyes, opened them again and sighed.
"I don't want to kill you, Severus." Severus raised his head. "I've done nothing but thinking during the last three days. Do you know how it feels to be mated to you?" He swallowed, then laughed defeatedly. "It hurts. My body hurts. All my body wants is... your body. My skin burns, my muscles ache. My arms here want to close around your body, my palms feel raw, they scream for your skin. Your taste is on my lips and on my tongue. My mouth starves and thirsts for your kiss. I can't eat. I can't sleep. My thoughts return to your body every second of my days and nights. Alcohol doesn't work. Pain doesn't work. My body just won't stop hurting... And with the full moon approaching... Do your books say anything about that? The craving deepens every moment, every breath I take hurts because the air streaming in through my nose isn't filled with your scent." Remus got up and closed the distance between them step by step. "That at least is better now with you in the same room. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Nothing. This is what it feels like, Severus." They were face to face. "How could I possibly kill you? How can I kill you when I can touch you as well?" He raised his right hand and touched Severus' cheek. "I don't want to touch you, my brain doesn't want my hand to make contact with your skin, but I can't help it." His other hand touched Severus' other cheek, his two hands gently cupping Severus' face. Remus moaned. "You have no idea how this feels." His body nearly touched Severus'. Severus could feel how Remus trembled under his garments. "I can't stop this, Severus. Help me, please..."
Severus felt Remus' lips on his, Remus' hands caressing his face. He felt his own arms wrapping around Remus' shaking body. "Don't...", he whispered. "Remus, please, don't..." His hands started to move up and down Remus' back. His lips parted and their tongues met. Remus moans filled the air. "Remus, stop it, please!" Hot kisses on his cheeks and eyelids, hands stroking his neck, his chest, his arms. Remus' fingers impatiently started to unfasten his robes. The second they touched his bare skin, Severus knew it was too late. He had lost that fight.
In a fit of frenzy he tore at Remus' robes, tore them apart and pressed his chest against Remus'. "We have to stop... we have to...", he muttered under his breath, though he knew he couldn't stop anymore. Remus broke the kiss, obviously gathering all his strength to do so, and reached for his wand. He cast a Silencing Spell at the door. "I don't want Harry to hear this." His voice exposed all the embarrassment and humiliation inside of him.
*****
They lay on the bed, drained and exhausted. Their encounter had been short, rough and greedy, Remus claiming Severus' body with every fibre of his own. Their climax had been a shock wave of release to both of them. As soon as he had caught his breath, Remus got up and dressed. He never looked into Severus' eyes as he did so.
"Severus, leave." He turned to look out of the window again. "I'm going downstairs to talk to Harry and I want you to be gone when I return to my room." Severus rose from the bed and started to collect his clothes. "I don't want to see you again, Severus. Never. I'll learn to live with it. I don't want to see you again." He walked out of the room without looking at Severus another time.
***tbc***
Chapter title: Obsession
Author: Becca (
aqua_alta)Rating: R (I think...)
Pairing: Severus/Remus
Disclaimers: see part III 1/7
Sal Si Puedes - Obession
"Avada Kedavra!"
Everything seemed to happen at once. A green ray of death shot from Severus' wand and hit Sirius square on the chest. The tall man seemed to fall for eternity, Severus watching him sinking to his knees and finally hitting the ground from the corner of his eyes...
the falling face twitching in surprise and pain
the falling face twitching and dissolving
the falling face assuming shape again, the shape of another face
the falling face assuming the features of...
Remus!
Severus sat up in his bed, choking and drenched in sweat. His ice cold hand wiped over his eyes and he tried to adjust to the darkness surrounding him. Adrenaline still rushed through his veins but its impact slowly ceased, leaving him in exhausted shivers.
"Enough!" He listened to the ebbing echoes until his bedroom was filled with nothing but silence and then said it again, as if to confirm a decision. "Enough!" He got up, threw his robe over his shoulders and left his quarters. It took him some minutes to make his way through the castle and reach the door to Dumbledore's chambers, but he was determined to put an end to this.
A sleepy and confused Dumbledore let him in, fumbling with the fastenings of his dressing gown as he walked over to the armchairs in front of the fireplace. Closing the door behind himself, Severus hissed: "What have you been doing to my dreams?"
"Your dreams, Severus?"
"Don't play the innocent man, Headmaster. You know what I'm talking about! You've been messing with my dreams! The last three nights they somehow *changed*. I told you I wouldn't go and see Lupin and you're obviously not able to accept it. You wouldn't risk using the Imperius Curse on me again so you found another way to achieve your goal, didn't you?!"
"I'm sorry, Severus, but I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about." He lit a fire and sat down in one of the chairs. "I promised not to interfere with your decisions years ago and I've kept that promise. I swear, I've done nothing to your dreams." He gestured for Severus to sit down in the other chair. "Why don't you sit down and tell me what's the matter?"
"You didn't? I have your word on it?"
"Of course. You might not believe it but I do respect you, Severus."
Severus froze. "But then... good gods... then..."
All Dumbledore saw and heard was quick movement and a door slamming shut.
*****
Contrary to what he had made Dumbledore believe, Severus had quite a good notion of where Remus might have retreated to. The next morning, after having spent the rest of the night sleepless, he opened a creaking garden porch.
Harry had moved into his parents' house after he graduated from Hogwarts. It had been an item of discussion among the members of the faculty, a discussion in which Severus had never taken part but one he had been well aware of. Hesitating slightly he knocked on the front door. Nothing happened. He knocked again. The door opened the moment he began to turn around in order to leave again.
A young woman with long brown hair appeared in front of him. He had never seen her before but he instantly sensed that she was a Muggle. Her dark eyes examined him thoroughly.
"Harry? He's here."
She opened the door and led him into the living room where Harry stood next to a little girl. Severus estimated her to be four or five years old. The woman walked over to the little girl, picked her up and disappeared through a door on the other side of the room.
"That was Ellen, my wife, and our daughter Emily. She'll be five next month." Harry lifted his head and his green eyes fixed on Severus'. "He doesn't want to see you."
"I know. But I have to see him." Severus' jaws clenched.
"He doesn't want to, Professor. He made me promise I won't tell you where he is."
"My name is Severus." Severus muttered. Harry looked baffled. "Harry, please... I have to see him."
"What happened between him and you, Pro... Severus? He wouldn't tell me a word, just made me promise to keep you away from him. You can't see him. I'm sorry. But he made that very clear." Harry shot a brief glance at the window. "Especially not today. It's going to be full moon tonight and-"
"Harry, please! In your father's name, in Sirius' name, let me see him..." Severus felt utterly exhausted.
"He's upstairs. Second door on the left."
"Severus, be careful, please, don't hurt him." Harry called after him as he ascended the stairs.
*****
"Get out!"
"Not before you've listened to me, Lupin."
"I said, get out! Now!"
Remus stood by the window, his back turned to Severus. He had lost a visible amount of weight in only three days. When he turned round, Severus could see deep shadows under his eyes, sunken, unshaven cheeks and dry lips. Remus looked awful.
"I won't." Severus had made up his speech during the sleepless hours of the past night. "Why didn't you tell me, Lupin? If I had known... Well, I didn't know. But there is a way out for you. I've been doing research in that matter and I've found a solution." He paused. Remus didn't move and continued to stare at him. "Your kind mates for life, I understand. So what has been established between us can come to an end. Through death. It works. It's in the books. Your death." Severus pulled his wand from his robe and let his fingers run along the yew wood. Then he closed his hand around it in a tight grip. "Or mine." And he tossed his wand at Remus who caught it automatically.
"Use my wand." His arms hung from his shoulders and he bowed his head. "Kill me."
*****
Remus walked over to the table in slow motion and lowered his body onto a chair. His hands played with Severus' wand. He closed his eyes, opened them again and sighed.
"I don't want to kill you, Severus." Severus raised his head. "I've done nothing but thinking during the last three days. Do you know how it feels to be mated to you?" He swallowed, then laughed defeatedly. "It hurts. My body hurts. All my body wants is... your body. My skin burns, my muscles ache. My arms here want to close around your body, my palms feel raw, they scream for your skin. Your taste is on my lips and on my tongue. My mouth starves and thirsts for your kiss. I can't eat. I can't sleep. My thoughts return to your body every second of my days and nights. Alcohol doesn't work. Pain doesn't work. My body just won't stop hurting... And with the full moon approaching... Do your books say anything about that? The craving deepens every moment, every breath I take hurts because the air streaming in through my nose isn't filled with your scent." Remus got up and closed the distance between them step by step. "That at least is better now with you in the same room. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Nothing. This is what it feels like, Severus." They were face to face. "How could I possibly kill you? How can I kill you when I can touch you as well?" He raised his right hand and touched Severus' cheek. "I don't want to touch you, my brain doesn't want my hand to make contact with your skin, but I can't help it." His other hand touched Severus' other cheek, his two hands gently cupping Severus' face. Remus moaned. "You have no idea how this feels." His body nearly touched Severus'. Severus could feel how Remus trembled under his garments. "I can't stop this, Severus. Help me, please..."
Severus felt Remus' lips on his, Remus' hands caressing his face. He felt his own arms wrapping around Remus' shaking body. "Don't...", he whispered. "Remus, please, don't..." His hands started to move up and down Remus' back. His lips parted and their tongues met. Remus moans filled the air. "Remus, stop it, please!" Hot kisses on his cheeks and eyelids, hands stroking his neck, his chest, his arms. Remus' fingers impatiently started to unfasten his robes. The second they touched his bare skin, Severus knew it was too late. He had lost that fight.
In a fit of frenzy he tore at Remus' robes, tore them apart and pressed his chest against Remus'. "We have to stop... we have to...", he muttered under his breath, though he knew he couldn't stop anymore. Remus broke the kiss, obviously gathering all his strength to do so, and reached for his wand. He cast a Silencing Spell at the door. "I don't want Harry to hear this." His voice exposed all the embarrassment and humiliation inside of him.
*****
They lay on the bed, drained and exhausted. Their encounter had been short, rough and greedy, Remus claiming Severus' body with every fibre of his own. Their climax had been a shock wave of release to both of them. As soon as he had caught his breath, Remus got up and dressed. He never looked into Severus' eyes as he did so.
"Severus, leave." He turned to look out of the window again. "I'm going downstairs to talk to Harry and I want you to be gone when I return to my room." Severus rose from the bed and started to collect his clothes. "I don't want to see you again, Severus. Never. I'll learn to live with it. I don't want to see you again." He walked out of the room without looking at Severus another time.
***tbc***
